Let yourself off the hook for feeling depressed.
Negative emotions are communications from our guidance just as positive emotions are.
Chronic depression ~ usually old anger that has been pushed under water like a beach ball. And depression is our inner guidance letting us know “Hello, we want to move.”
For us humans, we live in a world which says” only happy emotions are acceptable, anything else we don’t want to see.
But I say, (as a person who lived a long time with depression) when anger surfaces (usually at times we don’t want it to) go ahead and feel it through. Give up the struggle and let it roll; because once anger is in our field of energy, it’s not going away on its own. Rather than push it down…..
Find a place, a room where you can be all by yourself with the door closed and sit down and let yourself feel it. This might be the bathroom at work, or pulling off the road and parking, or your bedroom – but either way, sit down and allow the anger energy to be felt. The rage, the tears whatever surfaces.
This may seem strange at first. But once you try it, you will notice in a few minutes of allowing yourself to feel and letting it run its course, maybe 3 to 7 minutes, the anger will subside and shift and relief will be in its place. From here turn on some satisfying music for continued upliftment and know that all is well.
This is a good habit to get into whenever negative emotions appear, because they certainly will surface again. Make it normal to feel again. Feeling anger is a heck of a lot better than not feeling at all.
When anger or sadness/grief presents itself and we don’t acknowledge how we feel, it persists and finds another way to express itself, sometimes physically. The practice of allowing all emotions to be expressed such as the suggestion above, creates a new habit where we make anger not such a bad thing that drags us into a ditch of despair.
It took me quite some time to create a new habit. So go easy on yourself. I grew up feeling bad and responsible for how everyone else felt, and I didn’t even know this was my habit, because it was normal from the age of 5 to awaken depressed, worried and frightened. I had learned/taught myself to be in the ditch of despair more than in a place of ease.
Little by little I deliberately began to notice what i was thinking and feeling more and more often. I didn’t do this all at once, but I tried often to catch myself when I felt good as well as when I was sliding into a ditch. I gave myself permission as often as I could to let myself be angry when I felt angry, instead of trying not to. I didn’t do this perfectly, but what I did play with was thinking thoughts that felt better which created a momentum, whereby everything started improving. Thoughts such as:
I am on the right path and am glad for all of my experiences because they are not repressed anymore.
I am glad I have choices around what I feel.
I am glad there is plenty of air to breathe and that I don’t even have to think about that!
I do have money in my bank account. Its going to be okay.
I like where I am right now.
The rain today is really, really nice and so is this cup of coffee.
I love that I have a comfortable chair to sit in and gas in my car, and running water whenever I want it.
Its great that nothing anyone else can say or do, will take these thoughts away from me!
Children – Children naturally feel all of their emotions until they are talked out of it by the grown ups around them. All of us well meaning adults have done this. But starting now we can give them the gift, when in our presence to feel and express their thoughts and feelings, so they don’t have to do this when they are 40!
Love, hugs and all that jazz! Maryanne